It’s Okay

It’s okay.

It’s okay to be scared and disoriented and unsure of the future when presented with something new. It’s okay. In fact, it’s actually quite normal.

Here in Prince Edward County, I am trying to find my place…and it’s not easy. Although I have spent many years visiting The County, both while my mum was alive and since, I still feel like a tourist. But now I’m supposed to be a local authority, a part of the cycling machine that is the Bloomfield Bicycle Co. I’m also supposed to be able to help every customer that comes into the shop.

But I’m not, I can’t. I’m feeling unsure about my place here. Kt and Rick have been doing this a long time. They have their routines, they know everyone and everything that is cycling on this island. I don’t and that fact is scary, intimidating and frustrating.

The work is new, but so too is the social scene. Kt and Rick are my friends, dear friends, but I need some social interaction outside of the bike shop world. Something I don’t yet have. While I slowly build that connection, I long for what I left behind in Terlingua and Toronto; the security of the familiar, the love of my people, a bed to share.

Perhaps you’ve moved to a new country to start a new job. Perhaps you’re working on finding yourself after escaping a disastrous relationship. Maybe you’ve set some lofty cycling goal and have no idea how to achieve it. Just remember, it’s okay.

It’s okay to be scared, it’s okay to say “I don’t know”, it’s okay to to feel alone, disoriented and needy. Just don’t indulge those feelings. Acknowledge them, speak to them, but don’t let them determine your outlook on the future or your concept of self and self-worth.

Cuz, well, it’ll be okay. It is okay.